Too much of salespeople’s language is outdated and self-serving, and it’s costing them clients. That was the main focus of an education session by Liz Wendling of Insight Business Consultants, entitled “Start a Conversation, End With a Sale: How to Sell the Way People Buy,” at ASI Fort Worth on Feb. 3.

Engage with prospects by making the conversation about them, not about you, said Wendling. Often, when a prospect calls asking about items for an upcoming event, sales people immediately respond by asking about budget, quantity and timing. But they forget to ask about the most crucial thing: the person’s name.

“It’s an opportunity to make a connection, and you stand out if no one else has asked for it,” said Wendling. “Right away it sends the message that they’re in good hands and that it’s not about you. And price doesn’t matter as much when they know you have things handled.”

Whether it’s over the phone or in an email, when you’re initiating a conversation with a prospect, avoid what Wendling called “minimizers,” those phrases that “sound apologetic, make you lower your stance and steal your power,” she explained. Examples include “I know you’re busy, so I won’t waste your time,” “I don’t mean to impose” and “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.” They don’t add value to the conversation, and in fact, they come across as apologetic when the salesperson is simply doing his or her job.

Similarly, don’t use sales speak like “following up,” “touching base,” “reaching out” or “checking in.” “You don’t have to announce what you’re doing when you’re already doing it,” said Wendling. “Just get to the reason you’re contacting them. Instead, say ‘I wanted to pick up the conversation where we left off.’ That says to them, ‘I don’t want to lose the opportunity to work on your project.’ Shift the conversation and make it about them.”

When you begin by focusing on them, and then continue to build connections and show them that you have their best interests in mind, you don’t have to agonize about the close; transactions tend to close themselves.

“Have a strong, upfront sales conversation at the beginning,” said Wendling. “You want to move down the sales path with them, not drag them along behind you. And you don’t want to chase them. How engaging you are can make someone want to work with you. Look at your messaging and find where you can make shifts, be sure you get right to the point and always focus on them.”