Strategy May 23, 2018
The Ugliest Uniforms in Sports
If there’s one thing we care about as much as how our favorite teams play, it’s how they look.
After all, not only do we watch them day after day, month after month and year after year, but we drape ourselves in our favorite team merchandise.
Well, unless it’s one of these uniforms. Then we might just wear a hat.
We rounded up the ASI staff to get their picks for the most hideous uniforms in sports. Get ready for sickening stripes, pattern pratfalls, color calamities and more.
University of Maryland Football
Christopher Ruvo, Counselor Executive Editor: I know they’re copying the Maryland flag, but these uniforms epitomize “too much.” Red coagulating amoebas on one side, deranged Queen of Hearts court pages on the other – it all clashes. You just feel like this was a “wouldn’t-it-be-cool-if…” idea that wasn’t planned out well and thus executed poorly – kind of like Maryland Football itself.
Vancouver Canucks
Vincent Driscoll, Director of ASICentral: Of course, I’ll take the late-’70s Vancouver Canuck jerseys any day. I can only imagine the drugs taken before that re-branding meeting. The craziest part? These jerseys lasted seven seasons!
University of Florida Football
John Corrigan, Staff Writer: It has to be Florida’s swamp unis from last year. They look like Ninja Turtle villains.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Nate Kucsma, Executive Director, Research & Corporate Marketing: The Steelers striped throwbacks. I don’t really think that any explanation is necessary.
Montreal Canadiens
Glen Karpowich, Senior Designer: The Canadiens unveiled these eyesores in 2009 for their centennial year celebration. I think I’m still dizzy.
Monochromatic NFL Uniforms
Joan Chaykin, Managing Editor: They’re not the ugliest, but still the NFL’s monochromatic uniforms bother me. The players look like giant babies wearing onesies.
U.S. Ryder Cup Shirts
C.J. Mittica, Editor-in-Chief: These famous (in the worst possible way) shirts from 1999 featured portraits of victorious U.S. Ryder Cup teams from past decades. A nice thought, but the execution is a straight shank into the water. When asked years later what he did with the shirt, Tiger Woods told ESPN: “I threw it in the fireplace over Christmas and burned it. It was sooo ugly. It provided more warmth for the house.”
The Ohio State University Football
Kyle Ashenfelder, Multimedia Coordinator: Because everything about Ohio State is ugly. [Tell us how you really feel, Kyle.]