I live two blocks from Silver Rail Elementary School. My kids went there. Just after 1 p.m. on Oct. 15, my wife heard about the shooting at the school that resulted in the death of three students and a teacher. She came into my office, crying, and told me she was heading over to the school to help. A former preschool teacher, she spent hours helping at the school and later at the church where children were being reunited with their families. Amid it all, I got a text from a neighbor whose boys had been in class that day:

Your wife sure is a special person! I watched her distract all the little kids in the Silver Rail parking lot. Just pitching in. Helping. Playing games with them. Amazing. ❤️❤️❤️

Of course she is, I thought. Many neighbors and friends who also noticed her that day said something similar: Of course she was there. That’s who she is.

In the days since the shooting, I’ve seen signs reading “hearts and prayers” and “Silver Rail Strong” as I drive around town. On social media, local businesses are offering free food, activities and admission. Others are providing childcare for parents who must work while their kids remain out of school. Everywhere I look, I see gestures of support and generosity.

I feel tremendous gratitude, as I’m sure so many in my community do. For those reading from a distance, this tragedy may be a news story rather than a personal experience. These acts of generosity may seem touching, special and perhaps even expected in the face of such unimaginable loss.

But there’s something important to remember: Generosity shouldn’t be a switch we only flip during a crisis. It can take different forms and vary in scale, but what matters is realizing how we show up can be a gift to others.

A popular paraphrase of Mother Teresa’s teachings puts it this way: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” I would add just two words: every day.

“We have opportunities every day to give the gift of ‘small things done with great love.’ That’s customer service: proactively looking for the little ways to fill a need, or just bring a little joy.”

Unlike my wife, I didn’t rush over to help. I was afraid of getting in the way. I thought, “If they need my help, they’ll ask. I don’t want to be a bother – or worse, a rubbernecker.” But I don’t think I could have held my wife back if I had tried.

Are you showing up every day like it really counts? On any given day, how does your business act? Like my wife – doing small things with great love so often that it’s only natural? Or are you more like me, waiting for a truly big moment to step forward?

Our industry has a unique role when it comes to generosity. A great deal of what we sell is given away, so we’re all literally in the business of generosity.

If we take the time to be curious, we can better understand what our clients and their customers value. That puts us in a position to truly foster a cycle of gratitude.

What do I mean? When we’re curious, we learn what we need in order to give a thoughtful gift. A thoughtful gift generates gratitude, which often leads to a gift in return. (“How can I thank you?”) This doesn’t have to be a physical present; it could be an offer of time, attention or help.

Generosity and gratitude are two sides of the same coin, and good relationships foster a cycle of gratitude and generosity that stems from real connection – from knowing and feeling known.

David Anderson uses this graphic at his company to foster one of their tag lines: Foster a cycle of gratitude.

Think of the swag you got at the last trade show you went to or the last community event you attended. Did it make you feel seen? Known? Appreciated? Or did it have the emotional staying power of a speed date? Even worse, did it turn out to be junk that you quickly tossed? Junk is not generosity.

There’s a big difference between feeling obligated and feeling appreciated. A well-chosen gift often inspires reciprocity.

Real generosity fosters real gratitude. Real gratitude inspires action.

With promotional gifts, the ROI is often an indirect result. While this makes the exact form of the return less precise, it makes the likelihood of seeing a return much greater. ASI Research shows 76% of people are more likely to do business with the brand on a promo product they receive. The key is that it’s the right product.

The direct result of good merch is gratitude, and gratitude strengthens the relationship. It increases trust, warmth and positive vibes:

● Trust, because we’ve shown that we understand our customers’ challenges and are ready to help

● Warmth, because our company has shown some personality and taken a moment to consider someone as an actual person and unique individual

● Positive vibes, because a brand that makes people feel even tiny moments of glee every so often is a brand that will be loved.

While the well-chosen physical gifts we decorate are the catalyst for gratitude, we have opportunities every day to give the gift of “small things done with great love.” That’s customer service: proactively looking for the little ways to fill a need or just bring a little joy. Even answering the phone with a smile on your face is a moment of generosity. (Yes, your smile is conveyed in your tone.)

If we lead by example in this way, it builds trust, opening the door to helping our client see merch as an emotional catalyst, not just a commodity. It becomes an investment in the relationship, not a box to check off as cheaply as possible. And I’ll go out on a limb and say it makes our day better, our client’s day better and their customers’ day better. Whether they’re having an everyday normal Thursday or carrying a burden like my neighborhood is, everyone could use a little generosity.